Voting Documents Found in Tampa Bay, FL

Already, the news from Tampa is that “thousands of pages of voter information were found lying along the shoulder of Interstate 4 this morning.” This information, while not extremely sensitive (and apparently not from the Division of Elections), could be a sign of some type of sabotage by one of the parties, since it contains information about voters who need rides for tomorrow’s election.

This might be one of the first election issues of this cycle, but it sure as hell won’t be the last.

But we won’t despair. Go out and vote, and fight for what you believe in the patriotic way.

5:10 PDT: As my roommate just said after watching the first couple of heartbreak-stories: “Right now would be a great time to buy pharmaceutical stocks. We need anti-depressants.”

5:13 PDT: There’s a lot of focus on the message that parents are ultimately responsible for their children; it’s an interesting point for him to make, because it’s completely true, but not something popular for politicians to say. American politics have become dumbed down to the point that if the famous “Ask not what your country can do for you…” line had been uttered today, the other side would take the political advantage and promise that he/she could do more than their opponent.

5:17 PDT: I like the renewable energy message, but biofuels make no sense! They raise food prices and can cause food shortages, take away useful agricultural land, and don’t provide enough benefits to be worth the energy expended in producing them.

5:20 PDT: I’m noticing that they’ve minimized the amount of face time they gave to Michelle Obama. She’s really not popular, is she…

5:22 PDT: Putting bets on whether he’ll mention religion at some point. On one hand, it would be useful to fight the rumors over his religion, but on the other, the people who don’t care (like me) might be turned off by it.

5:24 PDT: I wouldn’t have called myself “Commander-in-Chief” because it reminds me that he has no military experience.

5:26 PDT: Bill Richardson’s facial hair was awesome

5:26 PDT: “I will not always be right as President” – interesting point to make. Again, he’s actually pitching somewhat above the mental bar that politics have set for the American people recently.

5:29 PDT: I wouldn’t have ended on such a partisan note. His live speech was aimed at the crowd in that stadium, and less at the national viewing public.

5:30 PDT: WORST TRANSITION EVER: TV One transitioned from Obama speaking, to the sitcom on next, which started with a black guy in a bathtub. My roommate is still laughing.

Verdict: Not out of the park good, but not too preachy and crappy, in my opinion. I’m excited to see what the news networks have to say about it though. I definitely don’t think it hurt Obama, which it could have, but we’ll see if it helped.

What are your thoughts? Hit me up in the comments.

One of my main procrastination tools is CNN.com, a site I check at least 5 times a day to keep myself up to date on national issues and constantly remind myself of the world outside the walls of academia. As anyone not on drugs would know, the biggest issues of the past week have been the election, and the economy. Personally, I find the former as interesting as I find the latter uninteresting. The reason is simple – $2.75/gallon isn’t a huge difference from $3.25/gallon, and my IRA is completely in cash at the moment.

The election, on the other hand, has been delicious, albeit hare-brained, in the last few weeks. Sarah Palin continues her charge to become America’s Bimbo-in-Chief, a position that she’ll hold no matter what happens on November 4th. Note that I don’t use the word “bimbo” solely because she’s a woman – anyone whose foreign policy credentials include “seeing Russia,” and who claims that an answer at a rally, which was dictated clearly and concisely, does not actually reflect what she believes, qualifies for “bimbo.” Despite being the last of the candidates named in this election, Palin is running the strongest “Bimbo-in-Chief” campaign since Dan Quayle’s “Potatoe” campaign of 1992.

That’s not to say that Obama is off the hook either. The man needs to stand up and break the mold of spineless Democrats (John Kerry looked like they had used a broomstick as a replacement spine…) I guess it’s a part of the fundamental divide in this country – Obama is too much of an intellectual for the American people, and there’s something that makes us believe that smart people make bad leaders; call it the “Carlton syndrome.” What this means is that those of us who can eat food with a knife and fork and pronounce words over 2 syllables long have to watch incredulously while the candidates make arguments unfit for a student council election.

Much props go out to Colin Powell, not for his endorsement of Obama, but for his comments on the Muslim faith:

It’s a sentiment I’ve felt from the beginning, and I wish the media would have focused more on this idea; when people question whether Barack Obama (or as many like to state for “accuracy” purposes, Barack Hussein Obama) is a Muslim, the proper answer isn’t “No, he’s a Christian” but “Why does it make a difference?” We’re battling racism in this election, but I’m starting to think that religious differences are a more important problem in the United States today.

I guess the ultimate point I got out of this week was- “Fuck it.” I already voted absentee for Obama anyway, although deep down inside I wanted to fill in the bubble for “Bob Barr.” Any other election, I would have done it, but this election I think we need to guarantee the Republican Party is out of the big house, and a vote for Barack is the only true way to fight for that. Fundamentally, I’m a fiscal conservative and social liberal, so both parties kind of suck; but considering that the Republicans have strayed so far from their fiscally conservative ideals, the Democrats are a much better choice in 2008. So that’s that. Now can Sarah Palin PLEASE stop talking?

Back when the only feelings I knew were “hungry” “happy” “sleepy” and “horny”. Back when I owned middle school, and was easily one of the coolest freshmen. I would want to sit me down to just prepare me for the coming years. So, Nat, if there ends up being some strange rift in the space time continuum, and you stumble across this page, just know the following:

Don’t worry about girls too much, that all sorta works itself out. You’ll fall in love soon, but then it ends when you end up going to Andover. Oh yeah, I should mention that you end up going to Andover. You absolutely despise it when you are there. You are no longer relatively funny, cool, smart, or talented. Eventually you find your groove though. You made some really solid friends who will probably be your friends for the rest of your life. Few people can say that about high school friends, especially people who move around as often as you do. You’re lucky, kid.

Back to that love thing: yeah its that chick who used to have a crush on you and your first thoughts were “Eh. I could do worse”, she turns out to be really cool. Fucked up and crazy, but really really cool. While we are on the topic of girls, stop worrying about that whole virginity thing. Again, it just ends up working out for you.

After leaving Andover, you end up at school in New Orleans. Yeah, it wasn’t anywhere near your first choice, but I feel like I should tell you now that you don’t get into Georgetown like everyone else did. However, New Orleans is probably a cooler city. You get Mardi Gras… some really awesome shit (plus some really stupid drama) goes down there. Bren comes from Florida to visit you during this. As a voice from the future, I am telling you to preemptively punch him in the face when he shows up.

I think basically, the message i want to get across to you, although I’ve failed to do it well, is that shit gets hard, but everything really does work out for you. Your self esteem will take a major dive sophomore year of high school, and honestly, you’ll only see small slivers of it until senior year. It ends up being worth it, I promise. Even though through a lot of that time you do some stupid shit (OH YEAH, DUDE, DON’T DRIVE THE CAR 95 IN A 55. ITS AN AWFUL IDEA), you end up in a good place. Things are good with mom and dad, your sisters and you get along, you’ve got amazing friends in almost every major city in the world. You finally manage to put yourself in a position where if something terrible happened, and you, metaphorically, fell harder than you could ever imagine falling, there would be a small army ready to pick you back up and send you on your way.  You’re a lucky kid, even if it doesn’t often seem like it. Again, warning, some shit REALLY sucks in the coming years, and honestly, you don’t exactly grow from all of it. Some of it is just straight up shitty, but you’ve managed to put yourself in a position where its almost impossible to fail at life. You’ll find love, you’ll likely find wealth, and without a doubt, you’ll find happiness.

You’ve got some damn crazy years ahead of you. Try to learn from every experiene, it will come in handy. For example, if you’re reading this, you can clearly read websites from the future. If I were you (I mean, I am you, but i mean if i were you five or six years ago from present), i would Google future lotto results.

On the initial 12 hour leg of our trip to Dallas from NOLA, we stopped at a rest stop to let the dogs out for a walk. My friend Adriano was driving a car with only me as his passenger, and he was feeling a bit dehydrated so he went to Blaire (my other friend Tommy’s Stepdad) and asked “Hey, you got any water in the back of your truck?”

“Nah, but we got some beer if you want”

“um….I have to drive though”

“well, one beer wont kill ya”

I think it’s safe to say that Blaire might be the worlds worst role-model. By the way Adriano only turned 19 a week ago.

Another story worth telling was probably that of the Cyclone Corral. A BBQ place out in Temple, TX near absolutely nothing. We kept getting lost on the empty Texas back roads which we so empty we decided it would be fine to let the Australian kid try to drive. Ben, for the record, was perfectly competant except for a slight issue about which side of the road is appropriate for driving on in this country.  When we eventually got to the restaraunt and sat down, The waitress asked what we all wanted to drink. Since we were so close the Waco, the birthplace of Dr. Pepper, almost all of us ordered one, except for Ben who ordered a Coke. The waitress couldnt understand him due to his accent and when i told her “Oh, He’s Australian” i saw something amazing. I actually saw a girl swoon completely. You could see her knees go almost limp, and her eyebrows furl over puppy-dog eyes. as her hand went up to her heart and she gave an “oh” that sounded almost like a whimper. from that point on, two or three different waitresses came over just to see if they could get him to say something. asking questions specifically to him about what our table needs and such. At one point, when ben got up to go to the bathroom, a waitress came over to ask if he was really australlian or just faking it.

Im glad to see that Gustav didnt destroy our home. Honestly, I kind of hope we can do this again next year. hopefully not during the first week of school, but still. This is my first time in texas, and i have to say its been pretty fun. Its unusual being in a place with people who are so religious yet somehow so incredibly accepting of everyone as long as no ones getting hurt. This will easily be one of my best college memories. kids can go out and get drunk 7 days a week, and mardi gras gives you many chances to sleep with girls far out of your league. But this sort of a bonding experience is something that any group of friends is lucky to have, and even though it was unexpected and incredibly inconvenient, i have to say theres not a thing i would ever trade it for, not a thing that could even compare.

Arjun inspired me to write another post. This time, I’ll make this more of a journal entry. truly, a weblog.

As you may know, I am a sophomore at Tulane in New Orleans. I moved in to campus on Monday and was almost immediately asked “So, what about Gustav?” I foolishly replied “Who’s Gustav?”. I even remember a friend joking “No one should ever fear anything named ‘Gustav’”. Classes started last Wednesday, and by noon on Thursday we received an email saying classes were canceled from tomorrow (Friday, at the time) until the following Wednesday.

My friends and I decided, although this was a horribly irritating time for an evacuation (eerily three years to the day from Katrina) that we would make the most of it. 12 hours, three cars, five friends, two parents and two dogs later, we found ourselves on a trip through Lousiana up to Waco, TX by way of Dallas. For the most part, it was a pretty boring day. We took turns driving and sleeping. Once we arrived, we stayed in a completely empty condo owned by my friend’s overly-accommodating grandmother who insisted we call her “grand-belle”. We spent the next day or so goofing off as us college kids on vacation are wont to do. Drinking more beer than we initially realized we could, relaxing by the pool, and genuinely enjoying each other’s presence as we all made guesses on what would become of our beloved home. Perhaps my favorite part of this leg of the trip, besides assorted games we played on the road that are too stupid and dangerous to play anywhere but a back-woods Texas road, was when two cultures collided.

You see, one of the 5 friends I was with on this trip had at one point spent a year in Australia in an exchange program, and now one of her friends was coming to visit. Our Australian friend’s name is Ben. At dinner time, the topic of Vegemite was brought up, and I dared to try it. It wasn’t quite as bad as people say it is. imagine if soy sauce had the texture of toothpaste. I didn’t say it was good… I just said it wasn’t as bad as i thought it would be. Anyway, in return, I decided to make this bizarre foreigner his first peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It’s hard to believe that in this new millennium there is someone from a first world country who has never had a PB&J. At first he was even more hesitant to eat one than I was to eat the Vegemite, but he gave in, reluctantly at first, but then grew to love it and has now had one for every meal since. (note: used crunchy Skippy and Welch’s Grape)

Today we decided to drive about 3 hours south to San Marcos to go tubing down a river with, again, more beer than I honestly thought we would drink. For the record, by the end of the tubing, not one of us was even tipsy. New Orleans changes people like that. Anyway, the tubing itself was again, just sitting in a tube, floating calmly down a river, enjoying each others company but in an environment serene enough to ward off any cabin fever.

As I was handing in our group’s tubes, I noticed the ID of the girl standing next to me was a Tulane student ID. our group struck of conversation with her group, ending with “Well, i guess we’ll see you Wednesday”.

Immediately after she said that, I received a text message from Tulane stating we could no longer return to campus until the following Sunday. a week from today. At this point, I also feel it’s important to point out just how amazing it has been having an iPhone during this period. Using Google maps when you’re lost during a road trip is amazing, as is the fact that it gets service almost everywhere in the country. Never have I heard so many people say “wow…it really does get more bars in more places”. At our lodging there was no internet, so my phone was passed through the group as our link to Facebook and email to contact parents and other concerned relatives.  Sincerely, I want to write a thank you letter to Steve Jobs. at some point in the last three days everyone has at some point said “Thank god for that iPhone”.

In 10 hours, I’ll know if I have a school or not. I’ll know if i have a home to which i can return. And considering how much I move around, New Orleans really is a home as much as any other place I’ve lived. I have a bed, a room, some of the best friends i could ever hope for, and the women ain’t too hard on the eyes either. Honestly, I can’t imagine anything in this post being remotely interesting to anyone. It’s a largely incoherent rant with an undertone of nervousness at my possible impending doom. I guess what I’m trying to say though is that these last few days have been awesome. I can’t even find specific episodes to write about, but i feel like I’m having one of those trips I used to hope for when i was little. You know? When you’re like 12 or 13 and see the older kids all hang out and do whatever they want and just have so much fun with each other and have a ton of inside jokes? I feel like I’m the little kid who saw that, wanted that, and finally got it. so yeah, Gustav, you’ve been awesome so far. It’s pretty cool that you were scary enough to make us leave campus and everything, but do us a favor and don’t fuck up New Orleans again.

I mean, you can take out the west bank I guess if you absolutely have to, but leave the parts that people care about at least? The parts that would stop me from coming back home?

Thanks, G

Obama’s VP List:

1. 
   Robert Byrd – Really old, has been in Congress longer than even he can remember, was asked to be VP but couldn’t send telegram back in time
2. 
   John Conyers – Not white
3. 
   Bill Clinton – not old enough, been really cranky ever since Hillary assumed pants in relationship
4. 
   Wilford Brimley (‘Diabeetus’ guy on TV) – Still stuck in log cabin talking to stuffed animals about ‘diabeetus’ medication
5. 
   Joe Biden – Old guy, unquestionably white – Accepted

McCain’s VP list:

1. 
   Obama Girl – Only did Obama bit for cash and fame, actually Bob Barr supporter
2. 
   Hillary Clinton – neither young, nor hot
3. 
   Laura Bush – interested in the whole wife-turned-politician thing, but W. seems too keen on being ‘First Lady’
4. 
   Carla Bruni-Sarkozy – unquestionably hot, but not an American citizen. RNC boners might be perceived as ‘gay’ when McCain walks on stage
5. 
   Sarah Palin – No experience, unprepared to lead nation – Accepted

Photo by Joyce Boghosia

The rules are simple. It requires either beer, or light mixed drinks (perhaps Jack and Coke, Vodka Cranberry, or if you’re especially classy, gin and tonic). Make sure to go LIGHT on the alcohol. Here are the rules:

Drink for the number of indicated seconds whenever anyone on screen says the following words:

Barack – 1 second
Obama – 1 second
President – 1 second
Hope – 2 seconds
Change – 2 seconds
Unity – 2 seconds
(Any small town) – 3 seconds
Experience – 3 seconds
Diversity – 3 seconds
Leader – 4 seconds
Difference – 4 seconds
Youth/Young – 4 seconds
(Any non-Chicago big town) – 4 seconds
Chicago – 5 seconds
Clinton – 5 seconds
McCain – 10 seconds
‘Yes We Can’ – 20 seconds

How can you remember all of these? I found that a simple poster board (cost, 50 cents), which I bought while preparing for the party, works perfectly. Yes, it requires a bit of extra work, but you will throw an oddly educational party. Drink on…

The final result? An awesomely drunk political party.